My precious niblings, spending one last night at Aunt Cindi and Uncle Duane’s house. It has been such a great trip. Beautiful wedding, so much time spent with awesome family. I wish it could be longer!
Who are you?
Yes, I’m frigging Lizzie Bennet. About damn time. DARCY???? WHERE ARE YOU???? *wanders into street in crocs*
Um. The last book I read was about mindfulness and anti anxiety exercises for children. Um. Before that. Um. Oh! Hemlock Grove! So far Peter is the main focus so I’m him. I’m ok with that. I wish I didn’t have to change, though.
Big movements start with individuals. When many people make small changes in their personal lives, we create a place that’s safer and better for everyone. The Safer Community Pledge is a simple step people can take to stand up against sexual violence and harassment. We hope that this pledge encourages us to make small changes in our personal lives, and that it encourages us to continue discussing this critical issue.
You can take the pledge by sharing this post on your favorite social media site. By sharing, you’re committing to the following:
I pledge that I will always prioritize consent. I understand that consent is the presence of an enthusiastic yes rather than the absence of a no; and that consent cannot be given when someone is asleep or physically or mentally incapacitated.
I pledge that I will respect my partner’s wishes, and that I will not pressure or coerce them into doing anything that makes them uncomfortable.
I pledge to stand with survivors of sexual abuse or harassment by showing them compassion and respect.
I pledge to never blame the victim for any abuse they’ve experienced. Sexual violence is never the victim’s fault.
I pledge to admit when I make mistakes, and to apologize for my actions. When someone tells me that I’ve said something sexist, victim-blaming, or otherwise offensive, I pledge to be open to their words.
I pledge to support conversations surrounding sexual abuse and harassment in a way that is respectful of my needs and the needs of those I am speaking with.
I pledge to create safer communities, both online and off.
After taking the pledge, we encourage all of you to let us know why you did so! We’ll be sharing responses publicly throughout the campaign. We hope this sparks discussion and shows how much support there is for positive change.
Join the discussion and join the movement! Pledge to make a safer community.
This is how it starts. This is important! And it’s not just for YouTubers.
If you’re lesbian and you fall for a guy
If you’re gay and you fall for a woman
If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for girls
If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for…
Button collection, photos, and more toys. Yes, those unicorns are doin’ it. @threadless @karenhallionart @leakycon @sarahjoysees @walkmanwarriors #bort #hearthstone #worklife #geekout #tabletop
I had the shirt with those unicorns. It’s called Afternoon Delight. I’m not sure where it is now, but I need to find it.
How I feel has nothing to do with it. I immediately sent this message to the NZ police and directly to the FBI and directly to the victims’ assistance counsel who has been keeping me up to date on everything, informing them that you, my stalker, have now broken the terms of your arrest.
The terms, as a refresher, were:
- No using the Internet
- No using post
- No contacting Melissa Anelli or any of her family and friends
- No contacting anyone in North America.
No one but my stalker would have had any information about the severity or lack thereof of her sentence. And after 6.5 years I can spot a sentence she has written from a mile away without reading glasses. I am publishing this so that it is well known that she has broken the terms of her bail. Because the last time I wasn’t silent about one of her messages, it led to her arrest. I don’t want this break of her bail conditions - while awaiting sentencing no less! - to go unnoted.
The Melissa of a year ago would not have published this. But I am so done. I have done everything everyone has asked. I have written the letters to the judges going over the whole thing in excruciating and personally painful detail. I have saved evidence with the organization of a librarian. I have answered every question and waited through every deferment and delay, and I am done just doing what is usually done in these instances. This is endless, and it is harmful, and it must stop, and “getting off lightly” would be a complete travesty. As is the fact that no one is monitoring her well enough to see how she is breaking the terms of her bail, and that no one is convinced she should be incarcerated in some fashion.
You know what I’m not done with, and can’t just decide to be done with? Being a victim. That is up to the people who work for the legal system of New Zealand. My being a victim. Up to them. How I deal with being a victim? Up to me. Whether I am continually victimized? Them.
And maybe making this public will make me less sympathetic to some judge down there and that will lessen her sentence for some completely non-sensical reason, I don’t know. But I am so beyond done with it being everyone else's call.
This is life with a serious stalker. Everyone who is worried about harassment on the Internet needs to see and know and understand this. This goes beyond getting hordes of hateful or threatening YouTube comments: this is about when someone gets in. We are talking about 6.5 years of constant threats and abuse that go offline and into the physical realm, stalking and harassment that touch everyone I know, that has not yet been deterred by TWO ARRESTS and the threat of jail. If you aren’t sure what this post is about, read this for a reminder.
Excuse me. I must now go and undo all of the small victories from the past few months, starting with the allowing of asks.
It was nice there, for a while, feeling normal.
Update: The NZ police are taking this seriously. I will share more as soon as it’s possible to do so.
OK. I could have started another post but this one really should be attached to the last:
Today my stalker was re-arrested for breaching her bail. This charge will be added to her file and will be taken into account on her sentencing (currently November 5, but that can change easily). The arresting officer, who has now become an email pen pal, has promised that if it takes 100 arrests and charging her 100 times, he will happily do it. This guy is awesome. His name is Ben Evans and he is the best detective I’ve ever spoken to (and I’ve spoken to a fair few). The NZ police have been actually wonderfully helpful, and alert.
I told him that I was going to be speaking loudly on this issue, and he said that “if any case points out the issues around Internet harassment, it is this one. There is no way you and your family should be put through this kind of harassment and abuse.”
He’s right. And my speaking loudly starts now. I’m starting with a reddit AMA that I hope starts to shed light on this issue and more.
Being silent didn’t work for five years. Being loud for a minute helped a little.
It’s time to be very, very loud.
Trev the Pokémon master.
Cool kids are cool.
Trevor’s R2D2 costume that he can RIDE IN and makes noises and is awesome.
What the FUCK does “almost always” mean? These are EXACTLY the types of questions you are never supposed to use for students. You aren’t trying to trick them, you’re trying to find out how much they KNOW. Why am I a better test writer than someone who is supposedly a professional?